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Joke of the Day

"I would put a web cam in my shower to make extra money, but I would hate having to only sing public domain songs."

"It's not illegal to get in a taxi and scream until you've reached your destination."

"3 guys go into a bar 3 Guys walking into a bar. A Mexican, a black guy, and and a jew. The bartender looks up and says, ""get the fuck out"""

"How many cops does it take to arrest a broken light bulb? Two. One arrests the room for being black. The other arrests the bulb for being broke."

"A cannibal and a vegetarian go to lunch. They both order a Danish."

"Did you hear about the procrastinating dictator? He was stalin."

"After seeing a commercial for Toddlers In Tiaras, I realise Darth Vader wasn't the worst parent ever."

"Why does an elephant wear sneakers ? So that he can sneak up on mice !"

"When you refuse to pay your exorcist: ...you get repossessed."

"Never in the history of unlimited data plans has someone gone through their significant others phone and gotten happier"