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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the procrastinating dictator? He was stalin."

"Girl, are you a jar in my parents' fridge? Because I have absolutely no way of knowing how old you are."

"A man walks into a bar and an egg falls on his head. The barman turns to him and says, ""The yolk's on you!"""

"My mother has now been sending me a Valentine's card for 28 years. She's persistent but I'm not interested."

"What do you call two black people bargaining on terms? A Negrotiation"

"An inmate from a mental asylum escaped and started raping people. The next day headlines read : Nut bolts and screws."

"I loaned a blind guy some money... It's ok though. He said he'd pay me back next time he saw me."

"As advertised I opened a can of evaporated milk today. It was empty."

"I used to be into BDSM, beastiality, and necrophilia... But I realized I was just beating a dead horse. EDIT: poster does not condone the beating of any horse; living, dead, undead, or imaginary."

"Hamster PickUp Line? If I was a Hamster, and I met a female hamster I liked...id say ""Aye Girl, You From Amsterdam? Cause Hamster Damn!"""