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Joke of the Day

"After seeing a commercial for Toddlers In Tiaras, I realise Darth Vader wasn't the worst parent ever."

"What do you get when you win the laziest man in the world contest? Atrophy."

"My grandson asked me what it's like to be married so I told him to leave me alone. When he did, I asked him why he was ignoring me"

"Bjork is my favourite singer-songwriter/IKEA side table."

"What happened to the body builder ...whose favorite gym closed down? He was depressed."

"What's the difference between premature ejaculation and erectile dysfunction? One's pretty quick, the other's a quitty prick."

"By the time a man realises that his father was right, he has a son who thinks he's wrong."

"I came home the other day to find my girlfriend dipping twenty dollar billsin batter and frying them. I said, ""There you go again, frittering ourmoney away!"""

"What is the difference between Ironman and Ironwoman? Ironman is a superhero, Ironwoman is a command."

"My girlfriend broke up with me because she and I had different opinions. My opinion was that I was worth dating."