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Joke of the Day

"A gingerbread man sits inside a gingerbread house. Is the house made of flesh? Or is he made of house? He screams, for he does not know."

"History teacher: Which period did Cleopatra come from? Me: The one her mother missed?"

"The next time someone says ""expect the unexpected,"" I'm going to punch them in the nose and ask if they expected that."

"Thanks for wiping down my table... a damp surface that smells like a dirty sweat sock is so much better than a few crumbs."

"The greatest joke of all: Your sex life."

"[Standing still for a picture] I guess you can say I'm *turns around for a second and the camera goes off* not good at posing for pictures."

"Ever hear the one about the deaf guy? Neither did he."

"How to Make A Cat Go Woof"

"Did you hear what happened to the man who ate too much spaghetti? He pasta way."

"They say that all things come in threes and yeah maybe I did too once because I was really drunk and she looked like a five."