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Joke of the Day

"Calculus should be taught in every high school around the world. It is such an integral field of math."

"Being a father is the single greatest feeling on earth. Not including those wonderful years I spent without a child, of course."

"why does snoop need an umbrella? for the drizzle."

"[phone rings in 1984] ""Eric get the phone"" Hello? ""Tell em I'm not home."" She's not home. ""Ask who it is."" My mom wants to know who this is."

"Julius Caesar: I came, I saw, I conquered. Julius Caesar with P.E: I came."

"What do you get when you cross an East African terrorist organisation with a fast food delicacy? Al-Kebab"

"What does Tumblr and KFC's chicken have in common? They both contain high amounts of trans fats. Edit: Omg guys! I didn't expect this to take off this much, thanks guys!"

"How do you know when you are too drunk to drive? When you swerve to miss a tree and then realise it was your air freshener.."

"No thanks hot air balloons. I prefer to fly in 75 ton metal tubes as God and the Wright brothers intended."

"If the 2008 election was about Hope and Change, what is 2016? Fear and Loathing."