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Joke of the Day
"Julius Caesar: I came, I saw, I conquered. Julius Caesar with P.E: I came."
Next Joke
"What kind of phone does a burglar use? A no-key-a"
"""Why'd you name me Carson, dad?"" You were born in a car. Now go fetch your sister, Hospitaldaughter. It's time for tablemeal."
"""Got kicked out of the hokey pokey class for putting it in, when I was supposed to be shaking it all about."""
"What does a push up bra and a dictatorship have in common? They both oppress those on the inside. They both lie to those on the outside. And they both raise monuments to the fallen."
"The inventor of the USB cable died recently. They're still trying to figure out which way to put his casket in the ground."
"Her: How do you do it w/ 4 kids? Hubs: With the door locked. Me: She means how do we manage...but yeah."
"What do you call an egotistical anorexic? A selfie stick."
"And on the third day, Jesus came back. Because he accidentally left one of his edge trimmers in my backyard."
"A three legged dog walks into a bar... He pulls out a gun and says, "" I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw!"" "