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Joke of the Day
"You can make jokes about anything, just not mexicans That's crossing the border!"
Next Joke
"Now imagine how close together the presidents' bodies are, under their Mount Rushmore heads."
"If you feel trapped in your body with no way out, just think about that guy in the middle of a conga line."
"Want to Hulu and chill? There's like 90 seconds of ads so you won't miss any of the show."
"Q: Why do scientists look for things twice? A: Because they research everything."
"What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? -Makes a choking noise-"
"David Bowie = Died at 69 Alan Rickman = Died at 69 Donald Trump = is 69 I think we all understand where this is heading"
"Why did they fire Victoria? Was she keeping secrets? What is Victoria's Secret?"
"What did the Orthopedist Comedian Magician say to his patient? ""For my next trick, i'll tickle your funny bone"""
"*sees person I know in a crowd* *waves enthusiastically* * realizes I don't know person* * changes enthusiastic wave to awkward fist pump*"