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Joke of the Day

"What do you get when you cross a genius with a hooker? A fucking know it all!"

"I've banged a lot of hoes and I'm planning on retiring. I heard the retirement homes have good pussy."

"What do you call a baby born feet first? a c-section."

"I have never in my life tried to pronounce an L so hard than when asking my dad for the ""caulk"""

"At least 12 dead after shooting in Paris Bet they never thought they would be killed from a magazine."

"What's your favorite word? 5-Year-Old: Empathy! I don't even know what it means! Me- I know how you feel."

"I like guys marrying my sister like I like my pinata coladas Full of rum! (Currently attempting to write a best man speech for my soon to be brother in law)"

"What is the biggest obstacle in getting rich quickly? Cops"

"Why is Harry Potter so popular in prison? Because he catches all the snitches!"

"""Look slightly worried."" - picture advice from The Singer/Songwriter's Handbook"