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Joke of the Day

"Next time you're asked ""What's Up"" respond ""A delightful animated film about a young boy and an old man who fly away to an exotic place in a balloon house."""

"Who ever stole my copy of Microsoft Office is in trouble. You have my Word."

"God: But if you use your sting you will die. Bee: That will teach us not to abuse our power. How did the wasps take that news? God: Err..."

"What's the difference between Jelly and Jam? I can't Jelly my dick in an ass."

"You're worried about rats in the walls? How is that any of your business? When was the last time you went inside your own walls?"

"I'm a Tumblr user and computer scientist, i'm boycotting binary computing."

"In Italy, they call me Olive Oil Its because im extra virgin. :("

"Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they're ugly and they stink!"

"Who did the baker bring to work? His doughter."

"Ben Carson is my favorite candidate whose name sounds like a Transformer explaining to his kid why he hasn't seen him much lately"