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Joke of the Day

"Every once in a while someone comes along, and if you are really still they'll eventually go away."

"Have you heard of the new corduroy pillow? It's making headlines"

"Did you hear the one about the sexually promiscuous citrus fruit? He got lemon aids."

"Beyonce is a great actress because there is no way she has the time or energy to have the kind of sex she sings about."

"I can't believe the pharmacy hasn't called! ""Oh they did..3 or 4 days ago..I forgot to tell you. What's it's for anyway?"" Anxiety."

"I tried convincing my melon-loving girlfriend to run away with me. But she told me she Cantaloupe."

"Which is the worst hand to lose? The second one."

"How do you circumcise a hillbilly? Punch his cousin"

"When the devil buys your soul he makes you sign a contract because even though he is pure evil he has an unshakable respect for tort law."

"I got a pet hyena because someone has to laugh at my tweets..."