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Joke of the Day

"A husband says to his wife: ""I hate to tell you this but your swimming costume is very tight and revealing."" ""Wear your own one then!"""

"Why did the dog's owner think his dog was a great mathematician? When he asked the dog what six minus six was the dog said nothing."

"Office assistant is throwing darts at a picture of her boss. Phone rings. It's the boss. Boss: What are you doing right now? Assistant: Missing you."

"I live in constant fear that my kid will become a famous artist or painter and I will have thrown out about a trillion dollars of her work."

"Where does the President keep his armies? In his Baracks"

"The other day I found two gold bars. I've always dreamed of an Au pair."

"A study shows that 50% of adults would fail an 8th grade math exam The other 40% of us would rock that shit"

"A power-tripping mod finds a comment he disagrees with... [deleted]"

"What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? Slow down and use lubricant."

"What did the elevator say to the escalator? Do you even lift?"