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Joke of the Day

"What's the best part of having a kid? The chewy center."

"I need feminism.. ..because I've never heard a 'dumb blond' joke about a man!"

"I bet you haven't heard of this new movie Constipation... ...it hasn't come out yet."

"I've read all of Charles Dickens's novels except one. I don't have *Great Expectations*."

"I'm going to start making my own baby food... What's the best cut of baby?"

"I didn't post that copyright notice thing on my Facebook and I've already seen SIX of MY photos of me with my casseroles in BMW commercials"

"A photon arrives at the airport As he checks in, security asks him: ""Do you not have any luggage?"" The photon replies, ""No, I'm travelling light""."

"Se7en is a great movie even if you haven't seen o1e, 2wo, thr3e, 4our, 5ive or 6ix."

"Can't afford a cat? Duct tape 3 squirrels together, next question"

"A lion wouldn't cheat at golf... But a tiger woods"