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Joke of the Day

"Of course I work out. I do burpees after drinking pop. I do lunges to grab the last slice of pizza & squats if I drop it."

"My neighbor obviously doesn't watch porn, she asked me to fix her sink 2 hours ago and I'm still fixing her sink"

"Things a raccoon and I have in common: 1) Dark circles around the eyes. 2) Likes eating junk. 3) We're both cute but will kill you."

"What do you call a man who expects to have sex on the second date? Slow."

"How to fleas travel ? Itch hiking !"

"Why is Santa so Jolly? He knows where all the naughty girls live."

"How do you blow a movie quote? You just put your lips together and whistle"

"What did Allen Ginsberg say upon being intoduced to Lawrence Ferlinghetti? Howl do you do ?"

"A man comes into the doctor's office the doctor says: ""Clean that up yourself."""

"I was at a barbecue party when a cow from a nearby farm charged me and chased me into a corner It was at that moment I realized my life was at steak"