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Joke of the Day

"How many dead hookers do you need to replace a lightbulb? Atleast not three since my basement is still dark."

"I've started writing crossword puzzles for a national newspaper. The money is not great but It's allowed me to buy a little two up two down house."

"What do you call a seizure you have while mining? An ore spasm."

"Man found dead... in an ice cream van covered in sprinkles. Police think he topped himself."

"Another ""Iron Man"" Joke Iron Man is a superhero. Iron Woman is a command."

"How do you know if you have skin cancer? You die from skin cancer and come back as a ghost to study the autopsy report."

"Quit crying, kid. I won this Easter egg hunt fair and square..."

"Girls have their phone nonstop. So if they don't text you back within 30 minutes, she ain't feeling you bro."

"Parents: Knock knock. Me: Who's there? Parents: Mom and dad. Me: Mom and dad who? Parents: Exactly, you're adopted son. ;'("

"[OC] My best friend recently lost the front of his foot in a boating accident and now I hate him. I'm surprised by how lactose intolerant I am."