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Joke of the Day

"""What you just said reminds me of something completely different I want to talk about."" - Everyone"

"A feminist is someone I could really get behind."

"Did you guys hear about the butcher who backed up into his meat grinder? I hear he got alittle behind in his work"

"My neighbours are loud and obnoxious. Now I know how Canada feels."

"Today in band we played a japenese piece... I bombed it."

"I saw the funniest joke... Your life."

"A mushroom walks into a bar... The bartender says ""get the hell out. We don't serve your kind here."" The mushroom responds ""aww why not? I'm a fun guy."""

"An orchestra concert is no place for a child. Sometimes there's intense violins"

"""Why did you leave your last job?"" -I had a typo in a tweet. ""Mistakes happen!"" -I worked for Yahoo Finance. ""Thanks for coming in. Bye"""

"I can bench 170 lbs. And by that I mean I can sit myself down on a bench in a pretty park."