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Joke of the Day

"How many police officers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they just shoot the room for being black."

"What's the difference between voicing your opinion on reddit and getting gang raped? In one at least you get some sex out of it."

"Doctor: The tests came back. They don't look good. The tests: ok wow this is the kind of attitude that made us leave in the first place"

"So there's a child and a gorilla... ...well, there ***was*** a gorilla."

"Bad Day Q- How do you know when a blonde is having a bad day? A- She has a tampon behind her ear, and she can't find her pencil."

"Cop: we know you're in there. Me in a French accent: I am not ere, I am in France. Cop: when will you be back? Me: je ne comprends pas"

"Why did the python do national service ? He was coiled up !"

"Lunch menu at a middle school in Flint, MI: PB&J with some Pb&H20."

"Chuck Norris is the only person who can simultaneously hold and fire FIVE Uzis: One in each hand, one in each foot -- and the 5th one he roundhouse-kicks into the air, so that it sprays bullets."

"What kind of pants does Mario wear to work? Denim denim denim ;p"