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Joke of the Day
"It's 27 outside. Oh great, even the weather is younger and cooler than me now."
Next Joke
"Why is the Statue of Liberty a woman? Because the head had to be empty in order to build a restaurant."
"All the jokes about iPhone 6S are just slightly improved jokes about iPhone 6."
"me: an open casket with my vape pen hanging from my mouth wedding DJ: i meant final requests for songs man"
"Pick up line I put the STD in stud, but all I need is you."
"""I ate thoup before it wath cool."" - Hipthter"
"Why did the man with an electric car think he had a dual exhaust? He drank a lot of beer. He ate a lot of beans. *You love it.*"
"If you! Use exclamation points!! This often! I want to! Smother you!! And your enthusiasm! With a pillow!!!"
"""You're just not my cup of tea"" I say to someone else's cup of tea."
"People who hum in public must be blissfully unaware of how close to death they are at all times"