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Joke of the Day

"I love eBay! Sold my homing pigeons 4 times this month."

"I'm an adult, and I can eat whatever I want whenever I want, and I wish someone would take this power from me."

"Atheists, we get it. You don't have faith in anything except your ability to shove your lack of faith in the face of those who have faith."

"Toy Story (1995) - A cowboy & a deluded astronaut battle over who gets to sleep with a 6-year-old boy."

"What do you call a pirate's girlfriend? Pirate bae"

"Sometimes my girlfriend is so annoying. ""Do you think I'm pretty? Do you think I'm pretty?"" Why doesn't she just answer me?"

"Dont be a racist, be like Mario... he is an Italian plumber created by Japanese people, who speaks English, looks like a Mexican that jumps like a black man and grabs coins like a Jew."

"I don't understand the appeal of strip clubs... All you do is throw money at women who refuse to have sex with you. If I wanted that I would be married."

"Which fish is the redneck's favorite? A Bearcooter"

"Why was the baseball team hot? It didn't have any fans!"