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Joke of the Day

"Patient: I have a strawberry lodged in my anus. Doctor: I have some cream for that."

"The difference between a scientist and a plumber... The way you pronounce unionized."

"Two midgets are sitting around, bored... When one of them pulls out some weed and asks: ""Wanna get medium?"""

"Does anybody know the name of that Godzilla Movie? It's the one where another monster actually breaks one of Godzilla's legs. I can't remember the name of the movie, but it has a huge cast."

"Two Irish men walk out of a bar."

"DOG: she keeps using heart emojis when we text DOG FRIEND: which color heart? DOG: *shows friend phone* the gray one DOG FRIEND: omg"

"Wait a second, so violence is an actual resort? That place sounds wonderful."

"What's a Cholo's favorite Chinese food dish? Chicken chow meng."

"I think if I was brutally ass raped by a unicorn, it would be of little consolation that they are fictional."

"I had sex last night... Her: You don't have AIDS, right? Me: Of course not, why? Her: Oh thank goodness! I got it last time and it really sucked."