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Joke of the Day

"I think if I was brutally ass raped by a unicorn, it would be of little consolation that they are fictional."

"What is the difference between Donald Trump's hair and a Headcrab? Nothing."

"Isaac Newton's friend was 16 minutes late the first time they met. At their second meeting, the friend was 8 minutes late. At this rate, said Newton, ""you'll never be on time."""

"What do you call a knighted cow? Sir Loin"

"What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador! I am not sorry."

"What is the best joke you have heard that was on the end of a Popsicle stick? Here is mine: Q: Where do snowmen dance? --------- A: At the snowball. Best joke at the end of a Popsicle stick"

"Male Feminists That's it. That's... that's the joke."

"Interviewer: what would you say is your biggest weakness? Me: [wearing my wife's wedding dress] laundry"

"Why is the vagina also called pussy? Because, when the chick gets aroused, it gets all sticky, like it has pus in it. Get it? Pus-sy."

"Two drunk Man Two drunks are in a bar. First one: ""My wife is an angel"" Second one: ""You are lucky! Mine is still alive."""