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Joke of the Day

"""Excuse me sir, are you really just a building in disguise?"" *storefront sweats nervously* ""N-n-no! I am human my name is Bill. Bill...Ding"""

"A man sees a blonde girl staring intently at a ice cube in her hand The man asks the girl why she's staring at the ice cube and she responds, ""I'm trying to figure out where it's leaking from."""

"A good pick up line to use on a pregnant woman is ""Got room for one more in there?"""

"If a stork brings white babies, and a blackbird black babies, what bird brings no babies? A Swallow."

"Congratulations to Alabama for making same sex marriage legal Now the men can finally marry their brothers"

"Never underestimate the power of the web. -Charlotte"

"Why is reddit so liberal? Because upvotes are to the left"

"My grandpa told me that ""your generation relies too much on technology."" I responded with, ""No, your generation relies too much on technology."" Then I unplugged his life support."

"Top three reasons he doesn't text you back: 1. He's just not that into you 2. He's imaginary 3. He's a cat"

"What makes an ISIS joke funny? The execution"