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Joke of the Day

"A gay couple decides to have some fun and play hide and seek... Jim: if you find me, I'll give you a blowjob! Mike: and if I don't find you? Jim: I'll be behind the couch."

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Siamese Twins Barbie ...complete with surgical instruments"

"flight attendant: sir, are you raising your hand me: how do i access the wifi fa: im doing safety announcements me: is that lowercase"

"Why do I only see lesbian couples holding hands? Aren't their hands clammy enough as it is..."

"AT&T; always treats me like I have no shirt and no shoes."

"I used to date cross-eyed women just to feel better about myself after sex."

"Her: is the game almost over? Me: this is just the first half Her: uggghh how many more halves are there? Me: you're pretty"

"People are always asking me why I named my pet newt 'Tiny' It's because he's my newt. ^minute ^^means ^^^small"

"""I shot the sheriff but I did not shoot the deputy"" is my favorite lyric about murdering law enforcement officials in moderation."

"Before I proposed to my GF I asked her father but he was already married."