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Joke of the Day

"That awkward moment when you're scuba diving and you see adele rolling in the deep."

"If there was a black character in the game of Clue... The game would be called ""Solved."""

"What do you call a happy cow? Laughing stock. What do you call a grumpy cow? A Feminist"

"I had a friend in a wheelchair but i had to let him go Now hes going downhill fast"

"[on a speed date] (okay don't let her know you're a zombie) ""so, what do you like best in a woman?"" BRAAAIIINNNSS"

"My doctor told me not to lift anything heavy! Now I have to sit down when I pee."

"Paper towel ads always show kids making huge messes then mom smiles & cleans it up. My mom would've handed me a mop then beat me with a belt"

"So there was this guy who flew so close to the sun he was able to touch it in exactly one spot... ...after that, he was a real tangent."

"[hostage situation] Any last words? ""Nah, I'm good."" If you insist. *puts gun to head* Say you're prayers. ""You are prayers. Lol."""

"Little known fact: Arizona's state flower is pavement."