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Joke of the Day

"What's the best part of divorce? Two Kwanzaas"

"How does George W. Bush do well on his high school midterms? He uses study strategeries."

"[Ice Cream Truck] John Cena: I'll take an Icee, please. Ice Cream Truck Driver: Icee? You? Cena: *grabs driver's shirt* No, you can't."

"Screenwriters, you know that script you're working on that's a mix between 2 brilliant films? Well it isn't and I'd like a grande soy latte."

"I donated a kidney once but they turned it down when I couldn't answer where I got it from."

"*at party* Guy: Want to dance? Me: I'm sorry but I cannot, in good conscience, leave this cheese ball unattended."

"I heard they were gonna make a movie about Michael Jackson It was gonna be titled ""50 Shades of Black""."

"[At job interview] Manager: So, do you have any questions about the job? Me: Yeah, can I have it?"

"Did you hear about the girl who gave out handjobs to electricians, plumbers, mechanic, you name it? She was a right Jack off all trades."

"Two black guys are taking a piss off a bridge... The first one says ""damn this waters cold"", the second guy says ""yeah, deep too"""