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Joke of the Day

"I heard they were gonna make a movie about Michael Jackson It was gonna be titled ""50 Shades of Black""."

"Respect to this dude at CVS whose sole purchase is Frosted Flakes"

"What is the only group of cops who get in trouble when a black guy gets killed? secret service"

"When I don't approve of another shopper's groceries in the checkout line, I just use one of those separator bars to sweep them to the floor"

"Did you hear about the guy who brought a ladder to the bar? He heard beer was on the house"

"What is the difference between a BMW and a porcupine? On a porcupine, all the pricks are on the outside!"

"Whenever someone holds my baby & he makes even a tiny peep, I yell ""WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY BABY WHY ARE YOU BURNING MY BABY!?"""

"If someone is bothering you with unnecessary calls to your cell number, post their number on eBay with the ad ""iPhone 5S for $1 only"""

"An obese man was standing naked in front of his doctor He said ""Doc. I haven't seen my dick in 3 years"". Doctor said ""Then why don't you diet?"" The fat man replied ""What color is it now?"""

"I bet the worst part about being a birthday cake is when you're set on fire, and then eaten by the hero that saved you."