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Joke of the Day

"Doctor doctor my baby's swallowed a watch! Give it some Epsom Salts: that should help it pass the time."

"I don't want to seem desperate, so I always wait at least 3 days before I call 911."

"A typical Lufthansa flight We are soon going to land in Hamburg. Fasten your seatbelts AND I JAST VANT TO HEAR VAN KLICK!"

"Master yoda are we on the right path... ...off course,we are"

"Why is seeing a snow leopard on the hunt almost, but not quite the rarest thing in the world? A ready predator is pretty rare, but not as rare as a pretty redditor! :)"

"Have You Heard The One About The Sheep? It's baaad..."

"I see your choices and raise you one eyebrow."

"Bitty and Belly are sitting on the sidewalk A Mercedes drives by and its horn plays a familiar melody. Bitty asks, ""Is that from a movie?"" Belly replies, ""No, it's a car tune."""

"The doctor told me I couldn't lift large objects for two weeks after surgery. Guess I'll be peeing sitting down for awhile."

"How can you tell if a chemistry joke is shitty? If there isn't a reaction."