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Joke of the Day

"The doctor told me I couldn't lift large objects for two weeks after surgery. Guess I'll be peeing sitting down for awhile."

"I love Clint Westwood easterns. Especially The Bad, the Good and the Handsome."

"Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a registered sex offender."

"Why is it that most people who are against abortion.. Are people you wouldn't wanna fuck in the first place. R.I.P. George Carlin."

"Looked at my pores in a 10x magnifying mirror and immediately cancelled my plans for the month."

"Q: What do you get when you cross pasta with a snake? A: Spaghetti that winds itself around your fork."

"Why did the hipster burn his mouth? He sipped his drink before it was cool"

"how many jews can you fit in a car? 2 in the back, 2 in the front, ad six million in the ashtray."

"Squirrels are just rats who blow dry their tails."

"I have a particular disease for which I deny the existence of some 80s bands There is no cure"