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Joke of the Day

"An SEO expert walks into a bar, bars, beer garden, hangout, lounge, night club, mini bar, bar stool, tavern, pub, beer, wine, whiskey..."

"I hate it when women can argue with you for hours... ...but two minutes into a blowjob and their jaw hurts"

"Think the walk of shame sucks now, imagine doing it in the 80s in corduroy pants. Everyone heard you leaving."

"Sundays always bring out my inner senior citizen...."

"If I've said it once, I've said it one hundred times. I'd rather listen to an auto-tuned queef played on a loop over and over, than listen to Lady Gaga's performance at the Grammy's again."

"What does Salvador Dali eat for breakfast? Surreal"

"I promised myself to stop jacking off to porn... It's gonna be hard for the next couple weeks."

"Imagine if a guy with a stutter was named History because History repeats himself"

"Why are the Jews angry about the new $20 bill? Because it's only worth $12 now"

"One plus of being a fast walker is that when I'm forced to walk slowly with another person, I can pretend I'm on the moon"