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Joke of the Day

"What happened when hitler fell off his skateboard, and the wound got infected? He said ""now I have to cleanse my germy knee"""

"You never realize how boring life is until someone asks you what you like to do for fun."

"How long does it take a black woman to take out the trash? 9 months."

"I died while having sex with a hooker... I guess you could say I was coming and going at the same time."

"[ordering pizza alone] Yeah I'd like a large pepperoni and *changes voice* A medium sausage *changes voice again* Another large pepperoni"

"I live next door to a family of Anorexic Agoraphobics I bet they have some skeletons in the closet."

"How much does a hipster weigh? An Instagram!"

"There are two kinds of people. Those who can extrapolate from incomplete information"

"Hey, everyone in a minivan-- hit the gas!"

"Two Indian junkies accidentally snorted curry powder instead of cocaine. Both are in hospital...one's in a korma.. The other's got a dodgy tikka!"