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Joke of the Day

"I live next door to a family of Anorexic Agoraphobics I bet they have some skeletons in the closet."

"My friend was putting lipstick on her forehead She said she was trying to make-up her mind"

"Your helium addiction is out of control, but nobody is taking your cry for help seriously."

"What did the vegetables say at the garden party? Lettuce turnip the beet"

"The only reason to have a second kid is if your first one doesn't get a lot of likes on Facebook."

"Dude in front of me at Starbucks made a big show about calling his Grande a ""medium"" and the barista was like, ""Uck, this again"""

"Why is Han Solo a loner? Because he's solo."

"What can an elevator do that a black man can't? Raise a family."

"How many politicians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? You hold the lightbulb and every politician screws you!"

"A drinking game where you do a shot every time you are prompted to update Adobe"