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Joke of the Day

"How do depressed people lighten' up? They drink bleach."

"I hate it when people call me judgemental Especially people wearing shoes like that"

"So, I measured my penis with one of those digital rulers... ...Anyone know how to convert LOL into inches?"

"*goes on Facebook AGAIN* *reads 100,000th idiotic post* *thinks other people are stupid*"

"I bet the kids who TP'd my yard last night and didn't know that toilet paper was on my grocery list, feel pretty stupid right about now"

"Santa claus may only come once a year... But when he does he does it, on Dasher! On Dancer! On Prancer and Vixen! On, Comet! On, Cupid! On, Donner and Blitzen!"

"What is it called when Batman abandons Gotham city? Christian Bale."

"Bratwurst, Sauerkraut, Cabbage, Potatoes, Cheese, Beetroot, Onions, Bread, Butter. Schindler's mom's list."

"Where do pots go on vacation? JaPAN! From my 9 year old."

"Of course he's going to get re-elected, because once you go Black..."