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Joke of the Day

"Roasted broccoli for dinner tonight, and the rave reviews are in. ""What is this? It tastes like hair,"" said one ungrateful child."

"Do these sweatpants and 5 extra pounds make me look like I'm in a relationship?"

"What's the difference between a psychotic mental patient and a man with a bible in his hand? Respiridol"

"Seeing your ex with someone uglier than you. Awesome."

"""Ummmm..."" -Rope, while being tied into a noose"

"Why Do Ranchers Love Getting A Sore Throat? Because they always get a little hoarse"

"Why did the proctologist have his cars towed to the auto repair shop? He rectum."

"How do cats let us know that they are in pain ? Me...........Owwwwww!!"

"Why is it okay when a woman has sex with someone half her age, but when a man does it, it's awesome?"

"I've just noticed the wife is wearing her sexy underwear. This can only mean one thing. She's behind with the laundry."