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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the live performance about the dictionary? I heard it was a play on words."

"I found out I was dyslexic when I got invited to a toga party. I turned up as a goat."

"Went to the doctors yesterday and was told I have to stop masturbating, Apparently it was upsetting the other people in the waiting room"

"Women who say, ""Awwww..."" after everything they hear are quite possibly the most annoying assholes on the planet."

"What has 10 letters and starts with Gas? Automobile! Everyone says gasoline because they don't think about it."

"Have a burning hatred for questions and people? YOU could be a medical receptionist!"

"How do you keep a bunch of redditors in suspense? I'll post the punchline later."

"""I'm constantly quoting myself. Like right now, for instance."" I just said that."

"*goes down on one knee* One Knee: I have a girlfriend"

"It's not as exciting when you realize his name is actually Harold Potter"