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Joke of the Day

"Little Jewish Boy A little jewish boy comes up to his father and asks for 40 dollars for a school field trip. His father looks down at him and says ""30 dollars, what do you need 30 dollars for?"""

"People who are offended when I breastfeed in public need to shut the fuck up What I'm doing is **natural** and strengthens the bond between me and my dog."

"[dismissed from jury duty because I kept coughing loudly the words 'bribe me']"

"I've been diagnosed with a type of amnesia where I deny the existence of certain 80's bands... There is no cure..."

"What did one fly say to the other? 'your man is down'"

"When the book of Revelations was written, the writer wrote that the end of the world would be signaled by trumpets. In fact, God had said Trump/Pence."

"How much semen does a gay guy have? A butt load."

"You know the worst thing about oral sex? The view."

"What the difference between the U.S. Government and a bucket of crap? The bucket"

"What do you call a blonde with half a brain? Gifted"