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Joke of the Day

"Men, if you're looking to spoil your lady this christmas, make sure there's WIFI in the kitchen, chicks love WIFI in the kitchen."

"What is the KKK's favorite dessert? A Klandike bar"

"What idiot called it a national anthem instead of country music?"

"Teacher: Why are you late? Boy: My fish died. Teacher: What fish? Boy: You don't know him he goes to different school."

"Helped a homeless guy move today... I picked up his vomit and threw it across the street."

"I just had 'the talk' with my kid. You know, the one where you break the news that Batman isn't real."

"Used lettuce for my burger bun tonight. I've never been more prepared to become your most hated Facebook friend."

"Paris is suing Fox News for repeatedly insulting it. Also suing them for the same reason: your intelligence."

"Hey Nikon, just a friendly heads-up here... NOBODY gives one single fuck what camera Ashton Kutcher uses."

"""Are u going to the circus?"" is a perfectly good sentence when not used as a follow-up 2 your wife's question: ""how does my make-up look?"""