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Joke of the Day

"""Are u going to the circus?"" is a perfectly good sentence when not used as a follow-up 2 your wife's question: ""how does my make-up look?"""

"A nice looking girl waved at me earlier today but there was no way I was swimming out that far to save her."

"I'm lucky enough to be ambidextrous. It's just a shame I'm a lefty."

"What do you do with an infected chemist? You try to Curium. If that doesn't work and he dies, then Barium"

"Never hit a man with eyeglasses Use your fist instead. >Enthusiastically told by my 6 year old brother, I thought it was worth sharing."

"Slavery is such an ugly word... I prefer the term lifetime unpaid internship."

"So there's this mollusk And he walks up to the sea cucumber and he says, ""With knees like these, who needs anemones!"""

"When does 2-1=0 ? When you're talking about choices."

"Why does noone listen ever to the guy who talks with his mouth full? He is so misunderstood."

"CW: My wedding is going to be expensive! Me: Wait till you see what the divorce is going to cost you!"