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Joke of the Day
"Her: Prove that you care about me Me: *Takes my phone off the charger and plugs in hers"
Next Joke
"What's the difference between a happy programmer and a sad programmer? ""Hello, world"" and ""Goodbye, cruel world"""
"Why did the semen cross the road? Because it was my first wank in two weeks."
"Loving someone who doesn't love you back is like hugging a cactus. The tighter you hold on. The more it hurts."
"My father once told me, ""Son, you're not an African't American, You're an African American't."" Just kidding. I'm black. I don't have a father."
"What did the T-Rex say when he stubbed his toe? ""Ouch. I'm Dino-sore!"""
"Proper punctuation... Proper punctuation is the difference between ""helping your Uncle, Jack, off a horse"" and ""helping your uncle jack off a horse"" It's a classic, but a good one"
"My misery likes tequila, not company."
"Whom hath released the hounds? Whom? Whom? Whom? Whom?"
"What's nine inches long, has a bright purple top, and made my wife cry when I fed it to her after jamming it up her ass? Her stillbirth"