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Joke of the Day

"Senate Republicans cancelled the vote on abortion restrictions. Does this mean they're going to try Plan B?"

"I went swimming in the Black Sea. It stole my trunks."

"How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they just beat the bulb for being broke and the room for being black!"

"What did Dr. Dre say when 50 Cent gave him a sweater? Gee, you knit?"

"Don't bite the hand that feeds. In fact, don't bite anyone's hand you fucking weirdo."

"What do you call a lesbian who drives a Chevy Astro full of penises? A Dick Van Dyke"

"Mainstream Media: Obama signs repeal of DADT. Fox News: Foreigner masquerading as President admits he's gay."

"A dog limps into a bar... and says"" I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."""

"[blind date] Me: So you can't see me? Him: Nope. Not at all. Me: (stops sucking in gut) This is the best date ever!"

"Why was the football stadium so cold? Because of all the fans."