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Joke of the Day

"Age and sport Men at 26 plays football, Men at 40 plays tennis, Men at 60 plays golf, have you noticed every time you get older your ball gets smaller"

"A man walks out of a toilet cubicle with semen coming out both sides of his mouth, what do you know? The floors are level"

"This salad is delicious, probably because it's a donut."

"What did the black pedophile say? ""Hey kid, wanna help me snatch some candy?"""

"What's a simile? It's like a metaphor."

"In a car it's illegal to not wear a seatbelt. But I guess if you're on a bus they figure death will be a sweet relief."

"Her: I heard your sister went to the US. Me: Yeah she did. Her: Which state? Me: Alaska. Her: Cool, when she tells you, tell me."

"Fidel Castro's Favorite Pickup Line Girl, I'm no Kennedy or Khrushchev, but I can show you a Cuban Missile Crisis"

"If a mathematician were to be any part of a kitchen which would he be? The counter."

"Where do sperm go to die when you jack off? The sementary."