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Joke of the Day

"What's a sucker's favorite drink? Punch"

"Avenge me! But only through passive aggressively commenting loudly around my murderer how great it would be to still have me alive."

"Why couldn't the t-rex find a mate? Because he had a reptile dysfunction."

"I just invented a new word Plagiarism"

"I was watching the women's Golf earlier. They couldn't drive, but boy, can they use an iron."

"My wife and I switched positions to make our night more exciting last night... so she sat on the couch and I washed dishes."

"If i had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive."

"My doctor told me I needed to see a rheumatologist... I told him that's a strange way to say interior designer."

"Nostalgic grandpa A grandfather to his grandson: when i was you age id grab $5 and get groceries for the entire week. The grandson: We can't do that now grandpa..they have cameras installed."

"How many dead hookers does it take to change a light bulb? I don't know, but it's at least 6, because my basement is still dark!!"