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Joke of the Day
"I just invented a new word Plagiarism"
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"In a recent interview, Heather Mills was asked why she thought Paul McCartney was still famous. She said she was stumped."
"I hate when people text 'call me'. I'm going to start calling people, say 'text me' and then hang up."
"You can learn a lot from a woman wielding a knife. For example, your top running speed."
"Three Signs You're Getting Older I was told that there were three signs that you are getting older. The first is senility And I forget the other two."
".@LAPD My wife made hazelnut ""coffee"" with my coffee maker. Send all available units."
"What's a programmer's favorite drug? Codeine."
"Interesting that the homeless population is down and now there is a big sale of unlabeled meat at the grocery store."
"What do you get when you cross... an insomniac, a dyslectic, and an agnostic... A: someone whos stays up at night wondering if there's dog"
"Food has replaced sex in my life. I can't even get into my own pants."