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Joke of the Day

"[Me]: ""I have hat-like reflexes"" [You]: Don't you mean cat-like reflexes? [Me]: *sitting on top of your head* ""Nope"""

"Have you heard the one about the bed? No? Then it probably hasn't been made yet."

"Did ya hear Fergie is pregnant? Told her husband she was 2000 and late"

"Offense: When it's a legal matter, it's pronounced o-FENCE. When it's sports, it's pronounced OFF-ence. Climbing... ? A fence."

"What is the best way to break a shield apart? Seth Rollins with a chair"

"My Paul walker joke What do you get when you put Ryan dunn and Paul walker in a porshce?? ""Dunn Walking!!!"

"Had sex with a condom tonight. Maybe next time it will be with a girl."

"I asked my friend if he wanted brown rice... He said, ""No, I hate brown rice; I only eat white rice."" I said, ""What are you, riceist?"""

"What do you moan in Cleveland when you're close to orgasm? O-HI-O"

"Why are the cops shooting so many black men? There's plenty of Mexicans to shoot too. Yeah I'm going to hell for that one."