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Joke of the Day

"What's long, dark, hard and grotesque but very satisfying to beat? Bloodborne"

"Fred: You've got a Roman nose. Harry: Like Julius Caesar? Fred: No it's roamin' all over your face."

"I've got a job for Victoria... Well, *had* a job..."

"Where will you never find a hipster fish? The mainstream"

"I'm in the middle of inventing emo playing cards. You have to shuffle them, but afterwards the deck cuts itself."

"I haven't pooped in a couple weeks I'm not constipated, I'm just procrapstinating"

"What do you say when you kill five black people with one grenade? (Offensive) Triple kill!"

"Wife: Are you drunk? Me: I know this is a trick question so I'm going with no. Why? W: Because you're naked on the neighbors porch. M:..."

"Ladies what's the difference between hungry and horny? Where you put the cucumber"

"A fine piece of art is like a fine piece of ass, I don't understand either one but I want to take both home and mount them against the wall."