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Joke of the Day

"Wife: Are you drunk? Me: I know this is a trick question so I'm going with no. Why? W: Because you're naked on the neighbors porch. M:..."

"The only thing we can anticipate about Nelson Mandela's condition is that his rap discography is about to skyrocket in the charts."

"No amount of minority filled commercials can ruin Red Lobster for me."

"Where does Moses get his coffee? Hebrews it."

"My wife is not buying that autocorrect changed ""You're psychic"" to ""You're psycho."""

"When the drugs talk to you ... ... you have too many left"

"this beer contains chemicals known to the state of california to cause ice cold refreshment"

"I forgot my baby was in the backseat of my car and I accidentally threw my case of beer on him He was ok though. It was light beer."

"I picked up a hitchhiker. You gotta when you hit them."

"Why did the walrus go to the Tupperware party He was looking for a tight seal"