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Joke of the Day

"Your mommas so fat That when she posted to /r/gonewild they renamed the sub /r/earthporn"

"[at hairstylist] Make me look like I'm running really fast."

"Che: ""Why do you want to participate in this guerrilla war?"" Me: [picturing myself leading an army of gorillas into battle] ""Independence."""

"My neighbor told me to close the curtains when I'm naked, but then I don't get that cool sensation of pressing up against the window glass"

"[Enters Building] ""Excuse..."" *Voice fades* ""... anyone..."" ""... how to..."" ""... out this..."" ""... ving door?"""

"I need a high resolution photo of Puff Daddy... ... so I can make my 1080P. Diddy joke."

"I'm not convinced faith can move mountain's But ive seen what it can do to skyscrapers"

"What did the depressed light switch say? I can't go on."

"You'd think the people in front of me at this self-checkout were trying to operate a nuclear reactor"

"The Cleveland Browns Thats it"