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Joke of the Day

"You'd think the people in front of me at this self-checkout were trying to operate a nuclear reactor"

"Have you heard the joke they don't tell stupid people?"

"How does the modern-day James Bond prefer his women? Shaven, not furred"

"The World Cup has an official song. The official anthem is ""We Will Find a Way."" It narrowly beat out the other contender, ""I Feel Someone's Teeth in My Shoulder."""

"The inventor of the air conditioner has died. Thousands of fans attended his funeral."

"What is dog x dog? Puppy dog."

"I had my first UFO experience this morning I walked into the kitchen and said to the missus ""Morning fat ass"". Next thing there were flying saucers coming at me from everywhere!"

"Duct tape can't fix stupidity, but it can muffle it."

"My roommate forgot to pay the cable bill this month. They came and cut our Cox off."

"""A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie."""