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Joke of the Day

"What do you call two black guys on a bike? Organized crime"

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"Altoids has begun marketing to the LGBT community. Their new mints are bi-curiously strong."
"If you steal my identity and get a credit card I'll be impressed. Not because you stole my identity, but because you got approved. Kudos!"
"I just learned you need five sheep to make a sweater. I didn't know they knew how to knit."
"How do we know that Apes are like fish after a rainstorm? They'll both bite at anything!"
"What's the difference between a white Jew and a black Jew? Black Jews have to get in the back of the oven."
"If you see a profile pic with 1 fat girl and 1 pretty girl and can't figure out who's profile it is, make no mistakes... it's the fat one's."
"When those Subway ""$5 Footlong"" commercials come on, every man is quietly calculating how much his penis is worth."
"Women call me ugly until they find out how much money I make Then they call me ugly and poor."
"Q: Why did the dog cross the road? - A: Because it was the chickens day off."