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Joke of the Day

"You might as well call me New Year's Resolution... Because no one's going to do me"

"How many reposts does it take to change a subreddit? More than we have now. This sub is still shit."

"How do you make someone stare at a screen for 30 seconds? Please wait..."

"What's the difference between harass and annoy? I have never had my finger in annoy. Edit: NSFW.. depending where you work, I guess."

"So I asked my friend, if you could be in the sun as long as possible and not get sun burnt but the majority of the world hates you, would you do it? And my friend said yeah. Okay you're black."

"I'm in a very serious relationship with Batman. My beloved Baeman."

"Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 always follows 6!"

"A photon walks into a hotel. The bellhop asks if he needs help with his bags. The photon says, ""no, I'm travelling light. """

"I will have enough money for the rest of my life. Of course, if I don't buy and eat anything."

"*talking to mailman* So are you like, made of mail? *mailman laughs* ""sure, kid"" So that must mean.. *fireman & garbageman walk by* Holy shi"