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Joke of the Day

"I bet the only thing scarier than a clown is the web history of someone who makes their living as one."

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"I made a dead body wearing a brassiere disapear. A-bra-cadaver!"
"If you make $200 an hour you can't complain that your employer is fucking you Because $200 an hour is a very reasonable rate for getting fucked."
"Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? 'cause she's a woman!"
"Sometimes, late at night, I stare out the window at the stars and think about all the airlines that have wronged me..."
"A man walks into a bar and says OUCH!"
"""Well boy,"" I yell to my dog, seated in the basket of my pushbike as we plummet to the rocks below, ""naming you E.T. clearly wasn't enough."""
"""What's taking the pharmacist so long? It's just one prescription"" *behind the counter the pharmacist is sinking in quicksand and screaming*"
".@Oprah If I were as rich as you I'd shit on the floor & tell a senator to pick it up."
"I'm dyslexic and diabetic... So needless to say, I'm laying off the crabs."
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