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Joke of the Day

"A Diamond Comes home to his Coal wife and Coal Child He says ""I've been under a lot of pressure lately (Edit: Just realized this was on the front page gaddamit)"

"redneck joke How do you circumcise a redneck? Kick his sister in the jaw"

"What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a BMW? I don't have a BMW in my garage. ....and if I did, I *probably* wouldn't masturbate in it."

"What's yellow has wheels and lies on its back? A dead school bus!"

"I sleep better naked Why can't this flight attendant understand that?"

"TOASTER OVEN: Do you really need another Hot Pocket? ME: You shut your mouth TO: If I shut my mouth will you stop putting Hot Pockets in it"

"A scientist and an engineer walk into a bar... The scientist says ""I'll have some H2O."" The engineer says ""I'll have H2O, too."" The engineer dies."

"What did Cinderella say when the got to the ball? She didn't say anything, she just gagged."

"My girlfriend treats me like a god She ignores me till she wants to ask for something"

"There are poor, helpless kids in Africa who really need our help. But there's also kids with machine guns so I'm not going."